Guda’s “oh shit I’ve changed a lot and I don’t think I can ever go back” realization didn’t come from being called out by the staff one too many times, didn’t come from counting scars, didn’t come from scrolling through their camera rolls. It came from talking to someone in japanese, and pausing, and realizing they knew the word for “sheep” in english, in sumerian, in french, in greek, in chiricahua, but they couldn’t remember it in their own mother tongue.